I Will Not Sing Along

by Brobdingnagian Bards

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    Brobdingnagian Bards are back with their 10th studio album after performing together for 20 years. I Will Not Sing Along captures fan favorites. You will explore the Magical Mystery Lore of Renaissance festivals at the end of the universe. The Celts strike back with Bard Wars that will leave you smiling and breathless with delight. Get the physical CD while they last!

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Will Not Sing Along via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 13 Brobdingnagian Bards releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of I Will Not Sing Along, Dragons and Virgins (Live), Memories of Middle Earth, Real Men Wear Kilts, LIVE: Nex Monoceroti, Per Risibus, Christmas in Brobdingnag, Vol. 1, Brobdingnagian Fairy Tales, A Celtic Renaissance Wedding, and 5 more. , and , .

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Jedi Mickey 03:04
Jedi Mickey by Marc Gunn and Andrew McKee Long time ago, a tugboat faraway. Mickey whistled out a tune bouncing away He turned color after one too many drinks Then called up Lucas saying dude... your writing stinks When Mickey sobered up he called the board to plan, "I've had a vision, a lightsaber in my hand We'll finish Star Wars as we wish upon a star And do it far better with the story... by Pixar." [to the tune When you Wish upon a Star] When the mouse wants your franchise He'll start off licensing for rides. If you're tired and you need some cash He'll buy from you...... [chorus] One part mouse, one part duck One part Jedi and formulaic luck A Wookie on my right and a goofy one on my left Merging these two companies ... is the big test There's a star destroyer shaped like a mushroom house The beagle boys stand before a Sith Lord mouse While far away a Jedi Mouse stares into space The three moons of tatooine replaced... by Mickey's face Mickey meets Minnie. The force is strong in her. He lays a kiss on her. And the fans all hurl Minnie is his sister. That folks is a shame Our love for Minnie Mouse will never... be the same Mickey stabs the Sith. The dark mouse disappears Wherever there's one Sith Lord, another will appear A duck steps forward with cloak as black as ink With Jedi mice and ducks, I'll need... a stronger drink.
I'll tell Belladonna ‘neath the Party Tree Let's have fun Come dance with me If she won't dance Then I'll ask Daisy We'll skip til the sun Comes up over the trees * Jump up and down Let your teeth gleam Shout your love now 1-2-3 Sing a song down on one knee She's the prettiest hobbit You've ever seen The prettiest hobbit You've ever seen The moon looks down On our hungry cheer Let's raid old Mungo's Mushroom field If we lose our way ‘Neath a cloudy night We'll chase young coneys Til the broad daylight We'll laugh and we'll eat Our honey cakes As we roll in the grass Down by the lake The swan calls out “Go home my friends” To the Party Tree We'll start again
I'm in a graveyard. There is no moon. Something's shuffling about like rats on a tomb; And it's creeping me out. I've watched too many horror films lately. So I walk faster, trying to get out Of an Evil Dead flick or to just laugh out loud But here comes this girl And she's too into to be living. Bridge You know you're a zombie And I'm feeling, oh so wrong, It's just like a lyric, Voltaire sings in his songs. Chorus: Lost in the blood of somebody's brains That my new love is eating today. Don't know how it happened, Never thought that I'd fall for a zombie. Then she moves close, I hope to cuddle me tight, But instead of a kiss she just tries to bite me. There's a look in her eye, The one that is still in its socket. Bridge I wish that you'd hold me Instead of eating me like steak. You've got zombie friends. So a threesome might be great. Chorus Bridge You put all the feelings In necrophilia Would you please stop the biting Cause I think that you're the one.
I will not sing along Keep your stupid song We're the audience, It's you we came to see You're not supposed to train us You're supposed to entertain us. So get to work and leave me be. When you go out to a play Do the actors turn and say, “Alright, everyone together say my line” But folk singers get away With this practice every day Because they think you people've got no spines Well it's time to stand and fight And defend your basic right To be quiet, any time you choose When the kumbayahs begin, It's not crime and it's no sin To stand up and holler, “I REFUSE!” Does a trucker pass the buck And say, “Let's all drive me truck.” Does a surgeon holler, “Everybody cut!” But folk singers all expect For you to drop your self-respect And howl like some demented nut It's a big folk singer thing To say, “everybody sing!” It's supposed to show our camaraderie Well, the odds are pretty strong, That I'm paid to do this song So why should you do my job for free [I just ask you]
We're the Race of Men Conquer valleys and glens We build huge towers in the sky. We're strong and we're bold, Though it be or it be cold We'll fight everyone till we die. Oh, we'll never give up the mountain As long as hope remains And you will never see A race as important as we… We're the race of Dwarves In dark caverns we forge And shape the ore that we mine. We're stout with beards But give us a beer, And we'll drink to the gold that we find. Oh, we'll never give up the mountain As long as there's money to be made. And you will never see, A race as important as we….'re We're the race of Elves In forests we dwell At one with earth and the sky. We're the race first born And our only concern Is how close to our gardens you lie. Oh, we'll never give up the mountain At least until our time is done. And you will never see, A race as old as we….'re We're the race of Ents And we're what was meant When they said there are shepherd's to trees. We've been stuffy and slow Since our women left home And many have fallen to sleep. But we'll never give up the mountain. Our trees are there to defend. And you will never see A race as old as the trees… I am Tom Bombadill Can't ever stand still There's too many Creatures to see. I've many songs to sing And a wife in the stream Whistle a diddle-diddle to call me. Oh I'll never give up the mountain. Or say I'm the oldest alive. For you'll probably see A hobbit in a tree… And it won't even matter [whistle] … how high!
Jingle Bards 02:13
Jingle bards jingle bards jingle bang jingle all the way broken strings smashed autoharps and recorders that don't play Dashing to a gig I think we're running late See that waitress there She thinks that we're both baked She tells her manager That's why that we were late But we're new to this gigging game And now we'll never play A Celtic festival Trad musics what they want But we play Danny boy And rebel songs for fun The director calls us out But we don't really care We'll play the music that we want Though Jedi might be there Now at a Christmas gig You may think that we're joyous But were not Santa Claus With a baggie full of gifts We play songs serious You'll never see us smile Ah that's not true. We're having fun And laughing all the while
Ah what a grand adventure With dwarves, a dragon and gold I tell the children and they giggle at the splendor of memories I told But Thorin was the enigma A story I couldn’t unveil He’s one that I’ll always remember When at last I end my tale How far we came together Over Hills, thru woods, ‘cross streams He made the world more beautiful A far safer place to be Now I'm still wrapped up in my blanket Hoping he’ll rap on my door To Invite me on another adventure Because this is what friends are for. I don’t know that I ever knew him But I saw passion in his eyes He inspired me, set a fire under me At least he tried. He told me how I moved him To a merrier world, he sighed Where food and cheer elude him Then he died. I can’t believe he died
She didn’t need a shot of scotch or even a pint of beer To have fun and face life without any fears Stayed in control though the spirits flowed through her veins And didn’t have to sober much because she used restraint Long time ago, in the nowhere part of space Rey came of age, decided she would be a drinking ace BB8 would mix her drinks at morning and at night So she learned to drink responsibly as a pilot for the light She flew a ship from Jakku, with a drinking plan Though she had no Jedi master to take her by the hand Drank the Order and the Rebels, under tables through the rim, Her search for a Jedi drinking coach was looking rather grim. She drank down Kylo Ren, and after she awoke, Mini-Vader lost his lunch, his hair held back by Snoke She finally found The Last Jedi hiding in AA He drank too much, swore off spirits, refusing to help Rey. Rey took his drinking guides and faced Kylo once again It was a draw, but she knew, next time that she would win One thing that she learned from Luke and unconscious Kylo Ren It’s that Women hold their liquor far better than do men.


Fans wanted. Bards listened. Renaissance festival legends return with music and comedy inspired by Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Irish music.

Brobdingnagian Bards are back with their 10th studio album after performing together for 20 years. I Will Not Sing Along captures fan favorites. You will explore the Magical Mystery Lore of Renaissance festivals at the end of the universe. The Celts strike back with Bard Wars that will leave you smiling and breathless with delight.

Become a Brobdingnagian Damn Hero with songs Sand tunes inspired by Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Firefly, zombies, and traditional Irish music all with the Bards trademark comedic twist.

And this all from a band that officially broke up in 2008.

Yeah. That didn't last long.

That's because Marc Gunn (autoharp, vocals) and Andrew McKee (recorder, mandolin, vocals) still had stories to tell. They had songs already written. They needed to be shared.

That's why the band officially reunited in 2018, so they could complete this long-awaited album.

There were over thirty songs to choose from. But the music business is ultimately about new, original music. So they decided to focus on mostly original compositions with a few nods to their Celtic heritage.

I Will Not Sing Along will make you want to sing and dance, and most of all... SMILE!

Brobdingnagian Bards are the award-winning "legendary" Original Celtic Renaissance duo that exploded onto the scene after tremendous success, first on MP3.com, then at Renaissance festivals and science fiction conventions around the nation. You've not lived until you experience a Bards show firsthand. Visit their website at www.thebards.net ** to subscribe to their mailing list and find out more.

** Yes. We also own BrobdingnagianBards.com. But you try typing that into the search engine. That' a LOT of typing!!!!


released February 2, 2020

Marc Gunn: Autoharp, Vocals
Andrew McKee: Mandolin, Recorder, Vocals


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Brobdingnagian Bards Austin, Texas

Brobdingnagian Bards (pron. brAHb'ding-näg-EE-en) are The Original Celtic Renaissance music duo. They take traditional Irish and Scottish songs and give them a comedic twist. Their unique brand of music on the autoharp, recorder, and mandolin put Austin, Texas on the Celtic music map and made them one of the most-popular Celtic groups online. ... more

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